This is the answer or is this the answer ?

Me..
I'm a girl who is so difficult to save problem or unfinished things in a few days. I'm so surprised to listen some unpredictable sentences as responses of my mom about my questions. She shared many. She talked the truth. She taught me once more, how to be a good girl when you have a lovely boy. ehem! it seems so usual actually, but see,, everything she has repeated this afternoon can make me feel having uhmp.. a big jump and fall apart in a minute. everything! Yeap, I know there's no point yet. It's hard definitely to describe it in words. I just, I just say it by tears.
Some minutes later, after having call with her, I opened my documents on computer and I saw some Photos. Some photos, then crying...
Na ja,,, I know.. I know..  there's no point here, yet.
We don't know what and how every single days walk in our life for tomorrow, the next 2 years.. even in a decade later. I approve it, yeap! exactly. But, it makes me think that, "what for then the things that we have planned?" its seem useless by the way. Include everything those have been imagined by me, you, us. It seems like just n imagine. only imagine. no useful inside. no guarantee in it. It's hard for me to difference which one "having hope" or "useless imagine". when we imagined, we have a hope. But when we hope, should be there an imagine or not?. I'm just crying.. cry isn't answer.
the respect that have been built, the hope or imagine ouh whatever, those have been created... they are.. they are just.. just?? ya just flower in autumn. fade away like times...
Why on earth I have to be sacrifice on difficult things,those people around me have predicted and said.. for my future..
Oh mine.
But I'm just being in pain.
I feel freak in all over my brain.

Thing, that I should listen from the past, is.. some people around him disagree if this is be continued.
some central people.
These things are too late. too late.. Improving has been so strong and not usual!
I know that I still have much time to decide. But I really need a miracle Oh God. Everything that I shall take, has their own risks. Will I be ready enough?. nope, that's not the question. will I be strong enough?
I'm so mad to choose. I am so stuck to consider. To choose is like take for giving or give for taking. it just be so annoying.
Basta. There's no answer yet, just collect more questions. Schade.

I can defense, isn't cause of money.. but faith. ya.. belief and faith. I'm too blessed to be stressed.. Oh God..